Reality Check...

Unfinished Rocks - 48x38

Last week we learned what a TIA is... Joel had a minor stroke and we never suspected he was at risk. This makes you focus on priorities in a big way! I'm still in the studio most mornings but the rest of the day I think about our future and our options. The military taught us to plan ahead... literally... when the B-52's left periodically for SE Asia, wives were instructed to know who to call and what your next steps would be should you be told that your husband would not be returning. And that's what we've always done, always considering our future options. My mother said I had a "delayed reaction" to bad news, I'm good in a crisis but fall apart or go into a depression after the fact. She was right and I hope I can always count on this trait.

So this week we've dealt with a number of things... most irritating is a monitor Joel wears for a month which only malfunctions after hours when the help number is not available. Beeping incessantly and causing stressed cursing... twice it's been put in the garage for 'time out' so we could get some sleep! It helps to have somewhere to direct our anger and frustration. I haven't thrown the damn monitor against the wall yet but have come close. (Have since learned of an 'off' button... who knew?)

Focusing... have been decluttering files, drawers, closets... was doing this in a casual manner way before the TIA incident since it's really about downsizing. The plan has long been to sell the main house and move back to the lake house (only an hour away) once the local g-chicks are driving and we aren't needed for carpool, etc. So that would give us three or so years to get this house ready to sell and the smaller house ready to receive us. I'm feeling a bit more urgent about at least streamlining possessions and paperwork that have taken years/decades to accumulate. Also looking forward to major renovations at the older, smaller lake house to make it more 'home' and less 'cabin'. My new hobby is measuring furniture and collecting kitchen ideas suitable for someone who prefers to stay out of it.

Reality checks continue... what about my career? Well, must admit, in spite of some great sales and positive show results this past year, the overall picture is not encouraging. If ten years younger I would have jumped on the self promotion wagon and would be sending out e-newsletters and brag packs to new galleries with gusto... but after awhile, new beginnings aren't so exciting, I just want to paint without the pressure. Creative exploration rather than simply producing more work. My mind spins with new ideas... some I get around to and some I don't.

Joel is, thankfully, doing just fine... the small stroke was a warning and we are heeding it. He has returned to a regular weight routine at the Y and when the electrodes come off his chest, he'll be back in the water swimming laps. I have a strong suspicion that when he stopped his regular swimming routine (he had a few distracting years with accidents, etc) his body didn't know quite what to do about it... so now we know... got to keep the blood flowing with exercise! Good advice for all of us!

Coasting...

 2009 - GUYED - mixed media 48x54

So there we were, driving south on the Interstate... and my phone rings. A gallery call announcing that a painting had just sold. I think it surprised him even more than me, considering the way things are going these days.

Back story: A woman in Kentucky had seen this painting (above) either in my (now defunct) Memphis gallery or on their website. The site stayed up for awhile after they closed and she emailed me about the availability of the piece. I gave her a link and assured her the gallery that now had the painting would be happy to help her... as far as I know at this point it could be just another scam or whatever.

So the point here isn't that, whoopee! I made a nice big sale... or even: okay, things could be worse. No one I know is admitting to business as usual... it's tough out there! Any sale is much appreciated, especially when there are materials to buy, art trips you want to take, life to live... one's usual contributions to keeping the economy alive.

I guess the point is how much we take for granted when we are coasting... hardly realizing that we're gradually slowing down. First this gallery closes, then that one... and those still open are strangely quiet. I'm not sure what to do about it. I can see where I've dropped the ball in creative marketing... haven't kept up with collectors, should be doing newsletters, etc... that was supposed to be gallery responsibility, not mine.

When the economy tanked I thought to myself... okay, this is the way my career shuts down. Not my fault. But I had pretty good momentum and the last couple of years didn't really seem to affect my bottom line... until now. Even the surprise sale seems to carry an air of foreboding since it bounced off of a gallery site that had already closed it's doors.

Variations On A Theme...

EYE OF THE STORM - 40x60 - 2010 - mixed media

Another in the 'change of palette' efforts. Also working in the new size that best fits our Prius cargo area. This, however, was one of the four picked up by my Memphis gallery in their big van... they could have taken larger paintings but felt these were what they wanted. So maybe that says big doesn't have to be too big?

Blogging FB...

Five bokushos in progress... goal was white paintings but they have minds of their own.
The little landscapes along the top are leftovers from Colony...

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Here's a blog link about one artist's discovery of Facebook... explains a lot ;)

I'm guilty... I've neglected this blog as well as reading many others that I really enjoy. FB does make staying in touch much easier and quicker... a short status update can often say as much as an entire blog post. There are times, however, when it doesn't... and the need to explore, untie the knots, really understand what I'm trying to sort out, can only be done by blogging.

So don't think I'm going away, this is too therapeutic to toss to the wind... plus it's my diary. Personal FB thoughts are lost after a page or two of status updates... probably still there but not searchable or neatly labeled (not that I label these posts anymore... I figure the Google blog search will find what I look for.)

Truth be told, I'm not certain that I have many goals left to track... I really thought with the economic turn-down that I'd quietly withdraw from the commercial scene and begin folding my studio tent... maybe retire to a hobby of sketching and watercolors. I still think this is a good plan... focus on setting records straight and maybe print out a book or two to pass down in the family... but basically, move on. Seems there's still a bit of momentum left in the career, however, and a new possibility sends me scurrying to see what I can catch... I'm as competitive as ever. Drat!