January 26, 2007

Coming and Going

Morning Sun Across The Point

You can probably guess when I'm out of pocket, either at the lake or on the run in some capacity... no new blog entries for days. Beginning to feel the pressure of the looming Feb show, though it isn't until the 23rd, I'm thinking I need more or less of this or that, whatever made me think such-and-such was a good idea... in other words, working the final details of the show with trepidation... as usual.

There was a time when I could produce a show with four weeks notice including large pieces... there was a time. No way am I a full time artist these days, my time is segmented... chopped and diced, more like it... to the point that when I do get down to the studio I've lost all continuity. No complaints, just explaining how things change. Once again (last time was about 18 mos ago) I swear off signing on for featured shows (either one or two person variety.) BTDT and I just don't need the pressure. Just keeping new work rotating through the galleries will suffice to keep me painting. I need the solitude of the studio... I don't fear losing that special time. But there is more to life and I don't want to regret not taking advantage of all that I can still do.

There will be no slow down once this show is delivered because the early May show also looms. I'm already beginning to set aside a few pieces that will give direction. I may include some of the Bokusho series but not lean as heavily on it. Sort of depends on how they are received at the Feb show. Can you tell I'm feeling a bit antsy about them? Somehow, I'm not feeling their strength as I did in the early days when I felt no limits. Pre show jitters... yikes! Wish I hadn't given so many to other galleries... maybe I need to head downstairs and try to find my original motivation.


Rebecca Crowell said...

So much of what is going through your head is so familiar, at least in its general sense if not the particulars. It's great to have things happening--but sometimes it is such a juggling act to deal with deadlines, expectations, opportunities etc. while at the same time keeping yourself energized and motivated. Don't you wonder what you'd come up with if you had, say, a year without any of that, nothing but painting...?

KJ said...

Rebecca, the closest I've ever come to that scenario was the month I spent at a residency in France. One full month with no pressure, no regrets and lots of inspiration. Once a year would be about right ;-) KJ